So you found out today your life's not the same
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday but
When you were just getting in the groove
Now you're faced with something new
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn
But you never gave up this easily before
So why do you choose today to give it all away …
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday but
When you were just getting in the groove
Now you're faced with something new
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn
But you never gave up this easily before
So why do you choose today to give it all away …
I made it to half way, still on 2:32 marathon pace, still feeling strong. I continued to get my fluids and clip away at the miles on the 7 mile loops course. Coming in toward the start/finish line on the second loop, nearing 18-19 miles I was starting to feel my hip flexors. I felt like I was having trouble pulling my leg through my stride. I had slowed a bit, to 2:34 marathon pace, but I was still feeling optimistic. I was still close to my goal per mile pace. I could do this! I had lost my group and was running alone, but I was clicking away at the miles getting closer with each stride to my destination.
I made it to mile 22 and I was coming unglued. My legs felt like they were hardly coming off the ground. But I was so close. I could fight through another mile!
I got to mile 23 and the 180 degree left hand turn in the course. My blister by this point was really bad; I had to kind of dance my way around the turn because I couldn’t push off on my right foot. I was starting to get passed by other competitors who had paced their races a little better. Only three miles, I told myself, so close. You can do it.
The mile 24 mile marker loomed. I looked at my mile split on my watch and swore that I saw 6:45…I thought that I had slowed by over a minute per mile. (When I later looked at my splits it was a 6:15 mile, not 6:45) But that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. When I saw that and that I was getting passed by people I knew I should beat I gave up. At mile 24, with only two miles to go I walked off the course and burst into tears. I have never felt so ashamed of myself. Not once in the 13 years that I have been running competitively had I ever not finished a race. And now I can say I never will (consciously) ever again. The feeling of giving up is the absolute worst.
I learned a lot from that day and now that I have had time to think it through and get back to training and racing I can continue the song…
Well it's not so bad y'all
Together we all fall
Just as long we get up we'll stand tall
We shouldn't waste another day
Thinking 'bout the things that we forgot to say
I know we have given
All that we can give
When there's nothing to lean on
Well, I remember this
All we make of this lifetime
Is always here within
And remembering that's why
We should never give in
Well it's not so bad y'all
Together we all fall
Just as long we get up we'll stand tall
We shouldn't waste another day
Thinking 'bout the things that we forgot to say
I know we have given
All that we can give
When there's nothing to lean on
Well, I remember this
All we make of this lifetime
Is always here within
And remembering that's why
We should never give in
One day soon I will do another marathon, and this time I know without a doubt I will succeed.
For now, I am back to training and racing, getting ready for my next big adventure- the USA Olympic Track and Field Team Trials in June! I already have qualifying marks in both the 10K and 5K. In the early part of the season I will see if I can better those marks to put me in a better position going into the trials. So I will get back to writing and letting you all know how it is going!
Thanks for all the support. Yours in running!
~Meghan~
Marathon splits:
6:16, 12:05, 17:45, 23:29, 29:09, 35:02, 40:53, 46:34, 52:25, 58:17, 1:04:09, 1:10:03, 1:16:01, 1:21:59, 1:44:00, 1:33:54, 1:55:00, 1:46:04, 1:52:15, 1:58:30, 2:04:02, 2:11:03, 2:17:27, 2:23:42
Keep pushing Meghan. You've got lots of fans that want you to succeed. If there's any knowledge I've gained from our poke war on Facebook it's that you are persistent. Olympic Trials, here we come!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kyle for the support :-). It means a lot to me.
Deletep.s. I will win the poke war!
I love you! That blister looks really gnarly. Keep being awesome :)
ReplyDelete-H
Ahh thank Haley! :-) You are such a special person to me too. I hope you are having a blast in Spain, but hurry up and come back to us because we all miss you!
DeleteGood article.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mike!
DeleteIt sucks the race didn't go as you planned, but I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. It probably felt good to get them down on "paper" too.
ReplyDeleteIt did feel good to get it down on paper. Thanks for reading!
DeleteThis captures the true essence of a first-time marathoner - especially in terms of one who battled time and time again to keep her head in the game. Your persistence and undying need to cross that finish line is extremely admirable. Way to get after it the best you could given the conditions of your foot and hip flexors. I know you'll be back on the roads again soon training for the next 26.2-mi jaunt. And that next one will no doubt be a success. Quick question: is this the blister that came up on you during that last week of training before heading to Houston?
ReplyDeleteHey Dan, no it wasn't the same blister. It was in the same exact spot but the one from that training run was all better by Jan. But it probably should have given me a clue. I just figured it was from the socks that I was wearing that day, not the shoes. I guess I was wrong.
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